What makes people argumentative

Reasoning so motivated can distort evaluations and attitudes and allow erroneous beliefs to persist. Proactively used reasoning also favors decisions that are easy to justify but not necessarily better. In all these instances traditionally described as failures or flaws, reasoning does exactly what can be expected of an argumentative device: Look for arguments that support a given conclusion, and, ceteris paribus, favor conclusions for which arguments can be found.

Abstract Reasoning is generally seen as a means to improve knowledge and make better decisions. Publication types Research Support, Non-U. Gov't Review. Apparently I disappoint him so much because I never do anything right…. Just be your and defend who you are and you should be good. However, if you do end up reading this, then if you want to go somewhere, go there. I am argumentative and it makes me feel bad.

I sought out researching it in the internet because of it. Why am i like this? I do have self esteem issues, so maybe I am trying to make up for how bad i feel about myself because if that? I often feel worse even if it is a debate. People tell me I am judgmental, which I own that because we all are. But the fact people can point it out in me is a problem. Dealing with this people is a lost cause, they are full of shit and stupid ultimately if you call them stupid for some reason they just scream at you because they know that they are stupid and they get offended.

Instead, the non-stupid person would not react like that. The only solution is to eradicate this kind of people from your life, the problem is that is not easy to do. It is easy to say but not easy to do, some people will manipulate your brain until you are forced to say sorry for things you did not even do! This argumentative person are total garbage, they might have success being lawyers defending murderers and nothing else. Very true.

From them, nothing positive or good will come. If those people are living under the same roof, that is nothing but hell on earth. Hi have an older sister who does this to me to such an extent, I decided to try an experiment.

I brought up the topic of child molesting. I said I think child molesters are disgusting. Yes, on cue, she defended the pedophiles. Yet she has plenty of friends. But like I said, she only does this with males. I feel sorry for her husband. Say nothing when around her and completely shut yourself off and just wait to no longer around her. This article was not written by me so please give credit to all of its pearls of wisdom to the appropriate author.

I simply found it relevant to my world, especially as an augmentation to my own healing. I went to Google and asked why do some people argue so fast that you dont even get to finish your sentence BEFORE that they want to start arguing. The fact that there are 3 reasons that he could be stronger than me should register to his mind. I started my sentence 3 times before giving up the issue.

So the sprinkler turns on automatically and waters inside my house. But to him that just must not matter. As someone who is often blamed of being argumentative and of the exact nature as this. I do argue alot but I do because it drives my passion. It motivates me. It gives me an adrenaline rush. It isnt to prove peopld wrong.

Beleive me. I dont remember anyone who ive had an argument with. Its just normal with me. Its just a thrilling experience in the battle of the minds. The mental sparring is just too refreshing to let it go. And while those around me are usually on the defensive. Some of the comments here are misinterpreting this for low self-esteem or a way to cope are absoloutely wrong. The thing is people like me are absoloutely rare and difficult to find so most of the time.

Im more stressed than most around me. Afraid I might annoy or offend them. So if there is anyone reading to this who relates to this. Things get better. Dont worry. This is my sister. I have never had a close relationship, but after Mother died Diane has become unhinged.

She has a specific point of view of family and never seems to get her points are just HER perspective. Try to converse with her a nightmare. She even switches her point of view when we speak to take an oppositional one. We can only safely now, speak about the weather. She yesterday screamed I was being mean, aggressive and a narcissist when I suggest Ron, or problem actually had a , property he could sell and that his poverty was self imposed.

Wow, its a terrible bind when you have this sort of person in family or at work. Living or working with those agumentative people is an hell experience of life. They are control freaks and arrogant people to impose their ideology or command upon others. I have some relatives, I had serious problems with them, finally try to keep away from them.

There is a big problem in discussions above. If two people hold different opinions they both think the other person is wrong. That is how it is. No amount of postmodernism can chang that. What we all need to learn is to accept that other people think we are wrong and they think we are wrong a lot! This is growing up. So when difference of opinion arise, Ok then, state dissagrement and period. Next topic. No big deal. The other person thinks you are wrong. Live wih it!! Go suck your thumb if you need to, but spare a though on growing up!

When arguments is about what to do, real stuff, you need to compromize. If other person does not want to find comon ground in things, time to take out the broom and rid yourself of crap. Love gives an willingness for common ground so there is no real love in that person. I find that I am argumentative with only one person in my life. For some reason he always takes the opposite position No matter the subject. So I have to wonder. Do I have an argumentative personality?

He and I seem to clash on a regular basis and I think our friendship is about to end permanently which will be the first time in my life I have to let someone go due to a personality conflict. But that person sounds toxic and narcissistic and I would walk right away if you can. Far away. It makes my work environment so hostile I almost dread coming to work even though I love my job.

I get the points in here about not arguing back, but how do you make it clear that the thing this argumentative person wants to do has already been told to be done by his superiors? Must be some real meat in the sandwich…Starting with a great article that holds a lot of truth, so, thank you. When what I said was in no way an opening to disagree—or even agree—at all. I just want to talk about something!

The weather! My feelings! The food! I associate this habit, and my original attraction to him, as stemming purely from our respective, similar childhoods.

Both of us had two brothers. Both of us were put down on a regular basis, as children. As a woman, though, I quickly learned how little traction one finds in life—socially, careerwise—by carrying this kind of chip on the shoulder. I soon realized my personality is actually more peaceable, more interested in being a team player, in compromise, and in listening. Sadly I developed into a classic co-dependent over-listener and over-doer as a way to counterbalance my abusive childhood.

Working on that, now. Hubs, though, being male, began to thrive on his ability to duel with just about everybody. He has made a career out of being contrarian, righteous, and argumentative. It has worked well for him in some ways, I guess. Except when we are at home. When I just want to have a simple conversation. About anything. And then, there we are: At our respective childhood dinner tables, I suppose.

When this first began to weigh on me, shortly into our marriage, I developed physical symptoms: My throat shut down and I lost my voice. I went through over two years of therapy counseling and physical therapy to get my voice back. I have warned him that I can—I COULD—easily dish it out as vigorously as he does, having been similarly trained in childhood to argue, argue, argue.

Hey, I have a PhD. I KNOW how to build a case, defend it, and give you the footnotes in boldface, defend defend defend. I want to feel like we get along. Right now I cannot imagine going the rest of our days living like two opposing lawyers. Who wants to sleep with the enemy? Other aspects of our co-existence are relatively okay.

And that is all I want. As we get older, I want someone to talk to. It helps to hear that others have experienced similar things. The original article and comments give me something to work with and understand.

My throat still hurts, though. Because they are not interested in hearing how we feel, how we see things. What the heck am I supposed to do with that? So I too gave up any attempt at reaching out to him. In my mids, I also gave up trying to find happiness with another man. I find my own happiness — with my family, my close friends, and in my own activities. Please please try couples therapy, it can really help. Eventually he may come too.

Make sure its a good therapist, who has a record of helping couples improve their relationships. It may be expensive, but its really worth it, your emotional health is connected to your physical health. But he can learn to improve. You and your husband are worth it, and your relationship is certainly worth it! Good luck! I recommend that you do individual counselling to heal, separately. He never did individual counselling, nor has he changed his behaviour towards me, but at least now I am no longer destroyed by it.

Avoid Arguing with a Argumentative person, there is no point just accept it and Ride on. I live with many and I know it is not me, others have same issues with the same Argumentative person. You two could probably really benefit from marriage counseling, find a good therapist. A couples therapist can help both of you understand each others needs better and communicate with each other better.

The professional can demonstrate to him what he is doing that is not respectful to you, so you can set goals together and work on it, and objective perspective is very valuable in these situations. It may even only be a few months of counseling needed, maybe more. But it sure is worth it. I argue with my boyfriend for every small thing and I think wrong all the time that my relationship can end up breaking up what I can do to stop it and how to control it do I have mental problem or what is it that I have?

It could also be a lack of communication which you may be able to work on together if you really care enough about each other to work on being a better friend. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email.

Notify me of new posts via email. Here is some insight into The Argumentative Personality. Does this sound like anyone you know? Do you feel like some people you know enjoy arguing just for the sake of arguing? You could be right. This can drive those around them up the wall because they are almost always on the defensive, even about what might seem like the most insignificant things.

Meet the argumentative personality — the friend, colleague, or relative who will find fault with you or a situation just to engage you in seemingly pointless verbal sparring matches. They can come up with heaps of reasons why you, and not they, are the ones causing all the trouble. Many, if not most, of them have strong narcissistic tendencies; in other words, they are very self-absorbed. They have little, or hardly any, insight into how their behaviours impact others.

When they come across people whose views differ from their own, they feel threatened, and go on the defensive. They are chronic blamers: others, or the world, are always at fault. Positives There are minimal good points about the Argumentative Personality: Being consistently at the mercy of an Argumentative Personality can help build motivation to stand up for yourself. We can learn debate techniques from those who passionately defend their views.

How do I deal with the Argumentative Personality? It takes lots of energy to defend yourself and maintain self-esteem when you have to deal with a person that sees you as the source of wrongdoing. Here are some suggestions on how to maintain your sanity when working or living with an argumentative person: Chronic argument seekers use an outmoded style of relating that might have worked for them in the past; realising they use an immature defence mechanism to protect themselves can make you more understanding and tolerant when in their company.

Am I an Argumentative Personality? You know you are the argumentative type when: Not a day goes by without you having an argument with someone. Feeling you have control and power over everyone and everything all the time is critical to you.

Other people, not you, are always to blame for starting an argument. The worst thing in the world is feeling you are wrong. Relationships filled with conflict are normal for you. Sometimes that's all an angry, argumentative person is looking to do. Ask questions. Instead of trying to convince an argumentative person to see things your way, ask them questions to explain their viewpoint.

Often this can help you get to root of the argument. Many times this will be enough to calm an argumentative person, even if it doesn't resolve the disagreement. Know when to walk away. If you feel a situation is not going to be resolved in a positive manner, just step away from it. You can always pick up the topic again at a later time when you feel it can be discussed in a reasonable manner. How do I get a friend to stop arguing with me through texts constantly?

Our girls are friends, she always starts it and winds up abusively throwing my problems in my face and blames me! Ignore them. Don't say anything - don't even say "Stop it.

Keep in mind that you don't have to be friends just because your kids are. When you must talk to them to get the kids together, keep your tone civil and polite, and don't interact with them otherwise. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Continue ignoring them, and keep walking. They want your attention, and when they see they're not going to get it, they will eventually stop. Not Helpful 6 Helpful Always be polite and smile sweetly.

Never let them see you are bothered at all by what they say or do. Be your best self always -- it's hard to argue with someone on top of things. Not Helpful 10 Helpful It's a defense mechanism. They have spent so much time saying how right they are, it is hard for them to admit, to themselves, let alone to others, that they are wrong. Not Helpful 15 Helpful Why would you not give any further evidence of you being right? I don't think this is a correct move because they will think they won because they have proof and you don't.

They never actually won. They can tell people about how they are right, and some may even believe them. At the end of the day though, if you have the right evidence and facts, you are still right. Giving further evidence is a way to prove yourself right, which is a way to make yourself seem more superior.

The truth won't change though, so why even try arguing with an unreasonable person? Not Helpful 13 Helpful Calmly but firmly let that person know that you are not now interested and will never be. Be kind, but very clear. Then, do your best to avoid engaging with that person. With time, the obsession will likely fade. How do I get proof to win an argument that requires facts and evidence, even though it'll take me a while?

It's great if you have a smart phone, because you can just look up the information right there. You could also ask people around you that you think might know about the topic. Otherwise, just say something like, "I know I'm right, and I'll prove it to you, but I have to look something up first.

Not Helpful 25 Helpful Hang up, politely if you feel like it. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Don't take on people who are bigger and tougher than you, in case it goes further than you expect. Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0. Always be sure you don't say anything you will regret later. Choose your words carefully when arguing. Helpful 1 Not Helpful 1. Don't let them see you getting annoyed. Smile throughout the conversation. This will annoy them, because they'll think they're not annoying you! Don't break eye contact. They will think that they are convincing you in some way about their argument.

Stay firm and whole hearted in your argument.